7. - NOT TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. - For many spouses going through this progression of events, divorce is the time to take control of your life and become your own person. - If you have been dependent on another and don't take control now, there's a good chance you never will. - So get out a pen and paper and write down your concerns and how best to begin handling them. - Take control of your finances. - Take control of your emotions. - Listen to the advice of your lawyer, but remember that your lawyer will not be there to help you in the years that follow your case. - Make your own decisions only after you have become informed.
8. - THE "IGNORANCE IS BLISS" SYNDROME. - When it comes to divorce, ignorance is anything but bliss. - To the contrary, being unknowing is downright dangerous and becomes very expensive, both financially and emotionally. - Remember: - This is your divorce, not your attorney's.
While you will receive advice from your attorney, the decisions are yours to make. But in order to make them, you must be informed. - So learn about the legal process in your state, explore your financial options carefully, and search for information about family matters that you may have ignored for years. - You may look on your marriage as a failure, but that doesn't mean your divorce must be a failure, too.
9. - GOING TO A LAWYER WITH NO RECORDS. - During marriage, most folks don't document things. - Why should they? - What's the need when everything is moving along just fine? - Then, "Wham"! - In preparing for your future, you must analyze your past because your past is the best predictor of your future needs. - Because everything should be documented, get copies of loan applications, financial statements, brokerage statements, and tax returns before you go to your lawyer so that he or she can help you analyze your family's spending habits and earning history. - List all of your assets with both cost and market values. - Your tax returns are treasure maps that can show where hidden assets may be buried. - And you will save costly attorney and expert witness fees if you get your records together yourself. It's much less expensive to gather information before the separation than afterward, when you will be using the legal process of discovery to get the records.
10. - OVERLOOKING ASSETS: When it comes to divorce, make sure you don't overlook your share of marital assets to which you will probably be entitled. - Inventory safe deposit boxes, track down bank and brokerage accounts, photocopy pay stubs and stubs from dividend and interest checks, and review retirement plans and insurance policies. - If a business is involved that generates cash flow, engage a forensic CPA to search out the tell-tale signs of additional income. - Don't overlook side businesses that generate income, and hobbies that involve expensive equipment. - And don't forget collectibles like old electric trains and football or baseball cards. - They may be worth a fortune.
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